Who Let Wimmer Write?

Who Let Wimmer Write?

For the love of everything holy, will someone please take the writing pen away from Kurt Wimmer when he is writing science fiction?

The man must have opened the giant book of clichés, photo copied it, and then put the title "Ultraviolet" on the cover. This wouldn't be so bad if you could just completely ignore the film, but Wimmer has a knack for capturing some incredibly original action sequences, as was also demonstrated in the highly-underrated "Equilibrium".

That, and the fact the Milla Jovovich is in incredible shape, may be the only saving graces of the movie. If only the DVD was available and we could all skip to the fight scenes and the one-liners, which Jovovich has a knack for delivering — and really, it's the only thing she has a knack for.

This is the part of the review that would usually decribe the plot, but then the film would have to have a plot with a beginning, middle and end. Instead, it just sort of starts with a lot of really cool fighting and then goes to some more fighting. There is something about a disease and a child who can kill everyone and Violet (Jovovich) saving the kid and I'm pretty sure vampires were involved but I'm not sure why.

Here is a quick rundown of the only reason to see the movie:

Milla Jovovich kills lots of guys in glass armor and looks really cool, Milla Jovovich dodges bullets thus causing lots of guys to shoot each other, Milla Jovovich uses a flaming sword to fight, Milla Jovovich shoots lots of guys (using "Gun Kata," a fighting style involving guns and martial arts created by Wimmer) in a library and the paper falls down around her and also looks cool. Milla Jovovich has some really cool weapons, including guns with blades that come out of them and a sword with Asian writing on it. Get the point? Pretty girl fighting.

The acting is some of the worst seen in recent cinematic history. None of the actors are able to overcome the awful screenplay, which has discussions on the existence of happy places with green grass and a love story that only appears at the very end of the movie for absolutely no reason.

Luckily, the talking only goes on long enough for the next action sequence to come up. Every time I was about to stand up and leave the theater Wimmer pulled me back in with a clever shot or an intriguing fight move. If only the actors would of just shut up.

The CGI effects look like something out of "Tron," which might annoy most but is easy enough to let pass since the action is so enjoyable.

It's hard to advise anyone to see this movie but if no one does than Wimmer might not get a chance to actually show off some of his talents with a film that isn't the worst-written thing since someone started writing dialogue for Charlie Chan. Give him another chance — just please, please, please don't let him anywhere near the script.