Kenneth B. Lourie | Stories

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Kenneth B. Lourie

Stories by Kenneth B.

Opinion: Column: “I’ll Think About That Tomorrow”

What I'm thinking about – and being thankful for, today, is the disappearance of all the side effects I've been experiencing during the last four weeks or so since I began my pill regimen for my papillary thyroid cancer treatment.

Opinion: Column: “And Awaaay We Go!”

As Jackie Gleason would say as he segued from his monologue into the sketch comedy that followed on his Saturday night entertainment hour on CBS.

Opinion: Column: An Update About Some Down Time

Not that I want to give you a blow-by-blow concerning my treatment switch over to thyroid cancer from lung cancer, but the last two columns were written four weeks ago in the same week in expectation of a weekend away, so these observations will be new-ish in that they will be hot off the press, so to speak.

Opinion: Column: And So It Continues

Two-plus weeks into my thyroid cancer treatment, all is as I anticipated.

Opinion: Column: “Canceritis”

There are two generic types of cancer: the cancer that you have, and the cancer that has you.

Opinion: Column: And So It Begins

Eleven years, six months and two weeks, approximately, after being diagnosed with "terminal" cancer: stage IV non small cell lung cancer, I have begun my treatment for stage IV papillary thyroid cancer.

Opinion: Column: Cancer For Dummies: Me

As I was telling my long-time friend, Rita, over the phone on Saturday afternoon, as a cancer patient – and I know this is going to sound ridiculous, short-sighted and stupid, I am not always forthcoming and honest when it comes to sharing new symptoms with my doctors, particularly my oncologist.

Opinion: Column: The Doggone Truth

I don't remember much substance from my freshman-level psychology 100 class at the University of Maryland in 1972 except that the lecture hall sat approximately 600 students, tests were graded on a bell curve (with which I was totally unfamiliar), the professor always wore black leather pants, and he brought his dog to every lecture.

Opinion: Column: Narratively Speaking

After 11 years and almost exactly six months since being diagnosed with stage IV, non-small cell lung cancer, the party is apparently over.

Opinion: Column: Safeguarding My Future

Whether or not I'm certain about my attitude toward being a dual cancer threat (non small cell lung and papillary thyroid, cancer), only my subconscious knows for sure.

Opinion: Column: Growing Pains

After more than six months away from the infusion center, due to the treatment for my papillary thyroid cancer stage II, I make my return on Wednesday, July 22.

Opinion: Column: It's a Twofer

And not just Tuesday, either. All week in fact, I'll be waiting to hear the music.

Opinion: Column: Questions and “Canswers”

"Very interesting," to quote Artie Johnson from "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In," that "crazy-kooky" comedy show from the 70s.

Opinion: Column: Mourning, Afternoon and Evening

We had to euthanize Biscuit, our oldest cat, on Saturday, June 20th. He would have been 14 on September 20th.

Opinion: Column: Masking My True Feelings

For those of us living in states where mask-wearing is mostly mandatory (indoors: yes, outdoors: not nearly as much), it is very easy to hide one's emotions.

Opinion: Column: Taking the Results in Stride

Apparently, I'm back in the lung cancer business. According to the video visit I had June 8 with my endocrinologist, my thyroid cancer has not moved into my lungs where my oncologist thought it might have – given the results of a previous biopsy and some surprising tumor inactivity in my lungs.

Opinion: Column: “The News of My Death...

…is greatly exaggerated." So said Mark Twain. So said W.C. Fields. And so said Kenny Lourie.

Opinion: Column: Night and Now Daze

That wasn't so bad. Approximately 29 hours in the hospital in a private room and all I had to do was drink as much water as possible and shower half a dozen times.

Opinion: Column: Time Will Have Been Told

In two days I will have completed four weeks on my low iodine diet (no chocolate, no salt, no dairy, no bread) with four days remaining until my one-night hospital admission and subsequent seven-day medical quarantine at home.

Opinion: Column: Time Will Tell

Nearly three weeks into my low iodine diet, in preparation for my hospital overnight on May 28 when I will get my radioactive iodine therapy, to be followed immediately by a medical quarantine at home for a week, I wouldn't say I'm thriving. More like persevering. I can't really satiate eating "rabbit" food, and what culinary pleasures I can enjoy, I can only have them in small quantities and infrequently at that. I won't give you a list, but just consider what any 10-year-old likes to eat.

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