Many parents fall into a trap. If their child refuses to comply with a request, they either bribe them with something, or threaten to punish the child.
In his program, Winning Children Over: Strategies for Discipline without Threats or Bribes. Dr. Francis Walton will discuss techniques to help parents out of this rut.
Rob Guttenberg of Bethesda Youth Services gave the example of a child not cleaning up his or her toys. “A parent might punish the child or might clean up the toys themselves,” Guttenberg said. In the view of Adlerian psychology, neither provides the child with a positive stimulus. Guttenberg explained that an alternative is to explain to the child beforehand about how toys should be cleaned up. By laying down a set of guidelines with the child, it allows him to participate in the process and encourages good behavior.
“He’ll talk about how both rewards and punishment come from the same place,” Guttenberg. BYS is one of the sponsors of the program, which is to be held at Suburban Hospital.
“This will be a very informative seminar,” said Monique Ware, Director of Community Health and Wellness at Suburban.
Walton practices Adlerian psychology. Based on the work of nineteenth century German psychiatrist Alfred Adler, it focuses on the goals and purposes of human behavior.
“Adlerian psychology is responsible for a lot of the books on childhood education and childhood guidance,” Guttenberg said.
Guttenberg explained that according to Walton’s theories, children misbehave because, “they don’t feel they have a way to contribute to the family.” He said that parents’ response to this behavior could lead to more misbehavior.
Another topic to be discussed are three common mistakes parents can make: permissiveness, being too controlling, and setting standards too high. All three behaviors can remove decision-making responsibility from children. “It sets children up to not handle later life stress as well,” Guttenberg said.
In an effort to make the program more accessible, transportation will be provided from the Scotland area. “This is a great opportunity for all community members to take advantage of this,” Ware said.
A van is scheduled to visit the Scotland Community Center, in addition to several other sites in the area to bring people to the event.
After the talk, Bethesda Youth Services will hold a follow-up program. “They’re going to take up the same Adlerian principals that Frank’s going to talk about,” Guttenberg said.
Guttenberg said that this six-week program can allow parents to work together and help each other to put into practice the principals Walton will explain. “These groups are ways for parents to really dig in. Interested parents should contact Bethesda Youth Services.
While Walton is in the area, he will be holding another event, this one aimed at youth workers. “At Suburban it’s aimed at parents, ours is geared to professionals,” said Enid Gershen of the Montgomery County Youth Workers Training Committee.
The committee will host a talk by Walton about how professional youth workers can use Adlerian strategies with minority youth. “The audience is school-based people,” Gershen said.