Now that Alexandria has (finally) appointed former schoolteacher Mary McElveen as its new Poet Laureate, we here at the E-Section have decided to take her mission of literary awareness and appreciation to its obviously absurd extreme:
We are seeking to crown the first Utterly Unofficial Alexandria Limerick Laureate.
That’s right: We’re looking for the reader who exhibits an unmatched mastery of that five-line poem with the “A-A-B-B-A” rhyme scheme; those little slices of poetic heaven that have three metrical feet in the first, second and fifth lines, and two metrical feet in the third and fourth. (And if you have no idea what that just meant, we trust that you, too, know the glories of Googling.)
Here’s how to enter:
- Three original limericks about anything having to do with Alexandria or Mount Vernon, to be judged by an esteemed panel of experts (or whomever we can find that has a few moments to spare).
- Your name, age, address and a daytime telephone number on the entry.
- Remember, we’re looking for three original limericks about anything having to do with Alexandria and Mount Vernon — and let’s keep them PG, for the kids’ sake.
Send your entries to email@example.com, or mail to 7913 Westpark Drive, McLean, VA, 22102. Contest ends on Saturday, March 31. Open to all ages. Call editor Greg Wyshynski at 703-917-6441 with any questions or concerns.
The winner will have all three limericks published in the Gazette Packet and will be bestowed with the title of Utterly Unofficial Alexandria Limerick Laureate. Selections from the best runners-up will be published in future E-Sections.
We want to thank you for reading.
We hope none of this was misleading.
You’ve all got a chance.
Here’s your kick in the pants.
Five lines you will not be exceeding.