Opinion: Help! I’ve Lost Everything!
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Opinion: Help! I’ve Lost Everything!

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Bill at the computer: With a mind of its own, it waits patiently for the ideal time to strike.

You may think McLean is a nice, quiet place to live, but you are wrong. In our living room at this very minute lurks an almost invisible menace. It is small and innocent looking but in reality it is the scourge of our lives. Very simply put, it is our laptop computer. It is not what it seems to be. With a mind of its own, it waits patiently for the ideal time to strike.

“Help! I’ve lost everything!” is Bill’s usual panicked response when things go terribly wrong while he’s in the process of creating an important document or trying to compose a crucial email. Of course, you know without asking, that he is expecting me to perform miracles! The trouble is, however, I am not the authority he thinks I am. The sad truth is that I am usually teetering just one tiny branch higher on the Tree of Knowledge. The only sure way I know to fix anything is to turn everything off and start from scratch.

Sometimes this works. But sometimes it doesn’t and then we are left with only two options: the first is our trusty son-in-law Dan who is a computer genius and good at explaining things via email or on the phone, and the second is a call to our grandson Brian and his wife Ashley who live nearby and can be counted on to come over and sort it all out.

The trouble with either of these arrangements is that our temperamental computer acts up fairly regularly and we hate to keep interrupting their busy schedules. And sometimes all three are away on business trips or vacations at the same time. And the worst part is, when we have to appeal to them for help it makes us feel like the two bumbling old fogies we are. Usually it only takes them a minute to explain in a few steps what had seemed like the riddle of the Sphinx to us.

So now, we have developed a totally new strategy. It is incredibly simple. We kowtow to, and humor the all-powerful beast. Whatever it wishes: that is our command. We are no longer masters of our own universe, but who cares?