To the Editor:
I speak for the neglected and now about- to- be displaced beavers of the George Washington Parkway.
I think Mayor Euille’s idea about selling City Hall is brilliant. However, he isn’t thinking big enough.
We should instead sell the White House and the Capitol, both really old buildings that cost the taxpayers vast sums in maintenance every year.
The revenue gained from the sale and redevelopment of these properties should be divided among all the people of the United States, but with a special share going to the people of Alexandria, to substitute for the money that the mayor would get from selling City Hall.
In return for this idea, the developers must provide, as a “proffer” — I understand this is a kind of reward given to politicians for allowing them to make money — in the form of a Beaver Condo for those of us who are about to be displaced.
It will need to a have water feature surrounded by trees, so our teeth don’t get dull and fall out.
Approved with a whack of my tail and signed for me by my agent, Robert Pringle, of 216 Wolfe St.