To the Editor:
I have been a resident of Great Falls for 26 years and my father has lived here for 36. I have spent the last decade thinking I was supposed to be somewhere else. Ironically, through my recent process of de-cluttering, I have read things from long ago and come to the realization that I have been thinking I was supposed to be somewhere else for much longer than the last decade!
I think we all have a similar struggle, the struggle is real right - as my teenage children remind me. One of my struggles is obviously about where I live. Others I know struggle with food, alcohol, exercise, work, you get the picture.
For the new beginning that is the new moon and the Chinese New Year, Fire Monkey, I have decided to let go of the anger and clutter which are the poisons I have been drinking and expecting others to die. Anger about not living where I think I am supposed to and clutter because I am moving right!?
Since all of our brains are hardwired to assume the worst (think cavemen), tell ourselves a story and then write a stormy first draft (Brene Brown) born from that process. I have decided that I would rather edit, update and build on that first draft rather than run with it, with all those wrong assumptions. I don’t have to believe everything I think!
Joining Great Falls writers group is one of the best things I have ever done. It is a safe space to take creative leaps. It is also a space to learn and grow, especially in editing our first drafts.
When I get out of my own way, I realize I am exactly where I am supposed to be, beautiful Great Falls. I live on the property my father bought in 1980, where my sister lived in her teenage years and drove her 1965 cherry red convertible Pontiac GTO to Holton Arms (an irony she loved), where my husband and I had our wedding reception in 1993, where we built our log cabin in 1995, where our children have lived since birth and where our address has had the same phone number since the 1950s.
I was agnostic until my sister died on June 7, 2008. When she died, I felt her presence in me almost immediately. She is now my higher power and I am so grateful for it. Knowing and remembering that there is something greater than myself in control helps me to get out of my own way and dive into the life I have been given and let go of the one I thought I was supposed to have.
Thank you Great Falls and Great Falls writing group.
Hope James
Great Falls