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Solitical Patire Yields Rig Besults for UCM

Capitol Steps entertain while raising funds.

The headline is correct as is. It is the result of listening to too many renditions of "Lirty Dies," a trademark of Capitol Steps, the group that performed this week at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in a benefit for United Community Ministries (UCM). Their now-famous tongue-twisting verbal spouting talked about Lent Trott, Lonica Mewinksy and Clill Binton

Before she turned the stage over to the members of Capitol Steps, Deb Matthews, president, Friends of UCM, made clear to the audience that the people and issues reflected in the upcoming show did not reflect the views of UCM. Perhaps she worried that somebody would be offended. She needn't have — the 200-plus members in the audience knew that what was to follow would be merely musical political satire, and it was anybody's guess which groups would be targeted.

What was clear was that this 11th Annual Performance by Capitol Steps for The Friends of UCM was another major success. A check in the amount of $50,000, presented by Matthews to Sharon Kelso, confirmed that this is an incredible moneymaker for the nonprofit group.

Hard work by committee co-chairs — Beverly Turner, Phyllis Patterson and Becky Littlepage — and their committee made it all possible. Every year, the event keeps getting bigger and bigger.

AND SO THE SHOW BEGAN. As timely as ever, the Capitol Steps crew did a ditty on Southwest Airline's new policy to weigh people. Then they showed George Bush Jr. spouting many of his "Bushisms" and George Bush Sr. with his infamous hand motions.

Martha Stewart spoke about how she would decorate her cell, with her financial adviser, Samuel Waksal. They were prohibited to talk about anything financial, but after labeling her prison cell with places for a fire, a place to make stock and apple pie, the meaning was clear: "Cell Fire Stone; buy Apple stock."

After intermission, they sang "Shoe Bomb" to the tune of, you guessed it, "Sha Boom Sha Boom." "Don't Call Them Redskins" dealt with the issue of the politically incorrect team name, while the issue of arms inspections in Iraq was dealt with in a rendition of "Inspect" (to the tune of "R-E-S-P-E-C-T."). "Once this Fish Starts Walking" referred to the Frankenfish dilemma.

Tom Ridge made periodic appearances to read from his book about the "Three Little Pigs," "Snow White" and "Little Red Riding Hood." Suffice it to say, they were not your childhood versions.

A medley of songs from "Sound of Music" addressed the problems of ecology vs. man. "The Drills Are Alive" and "Mine Every Mountain" were just two of the songs dealing with these problems.

"Maria" from “West Side Story” became "Korea," and the Rolling Stones’ "Everybody Must Get Stoned" became "Everybody Must Get Cloned."

VERY CLEVER. The show never gets old. As founder Elaina Newport said, "Just check our Web site if you want to see what the latest news story rhymes with."

At the end of the evening, each of three lucky winners went home with a gift basket assembled by Maria Lewan and her committee. Each one was valued at more than $500 and contained items donated from local stores, restaurants, beauty salons and UCM members. Kay Southworth won the door prize.

Uffe and Joy Mikkelsen from Roseina's provided the food, which consisted of platters of vegetables and dip, roll-ups, chicken satay and other finger foods.